True Colors

I have spent the last several blog posts focusing on the lessons I learned from past mistakes. For me, taking on this exercise was not only about the lessons learned and the chance to be self-reflective, but also the opportunity to practice vulnerability.

When everyone spends so much time curating the perfect highlight reel for their Instagram story or Facebook feed, it’s now harder than ever to be open about what is really going on in our lives. While nothing is perfect, it seems that these days we feel the need to paint that picture. And so, I think, it’s important now more than ever to show vulnerability and be willing to admit to one’s flaws and foibles.

Traditionally and especially in business, I believe vulnerability has been viewed as weakness. This negative connotation has often prevented folks in leadership roles from revealing their true selves. And so, when I talk to other leaders and members of my team about this trait, I position it as “practicing vulnerability,” as I think we have to make a conscious effort to show others who we really are.

And while practicing vulnerability can be a scary proposition to some, I would argue that when it comes to leading a team, it has tremendous payoffs. By practicing vulnerability, you:

• Demonstrate that you need others and signal a willingness to collaborate.
• Create a sense of relatability and accessibility among your team and colleagues.
• Inspire others to be vulnerable and follow your lead.
• Build bonds of trust and loyalty.

At the end of the day, being perfect does not equate to being successful. Leaders who admit mistakes, are open and honest about the missteps and flaws garner much more than those who don’t. 

On Their Own

As I explained in my last post, I often think there is far more to learn in failure than in success—particularly when it comes to leadership. We all make mistakes—that’s a given. We also tend to beat ourselves up when that happens, and that isn’t productive. Over the last several years, I have started to see things a bit differently. I have begun to celebrate my mistakes. I now choose to see them as an opportunity to learn more about myself and as a tool to develop and improve my skills as a leader and colleague.

As a manager one of the mistakes I have made along the way is too often protecting my team members from failure. As a parent I have often felt the urge to jump in and solve problems in order to protect my child from disappointment or failure. I have experienced a similar impulse in my professional life. There have been times over the years when I have swooped in and taken over to prevent a direct report from experiencing a setback. 

While the desire to protect a team member comes from a good place, the results often don’t benefit anyone. By circumventing failure, I cut off the opportunity for them to learn how to be innovative and find solutions to recurring problems. And so instead of rushing to catch them and stop them from making a mistake, I had to learn to step back and let them try and figure it out—or fail trying. My goal in doing this is to teach team members to be self-sufficient, to problem solve and to take risks—three critical ingredients to success.

Nine out of ten times, team members will successfully navigate the obstacles in front of them. It might take a few recalibrations and coaching to get where they need to be, but for the most part, they get there. Occasionally, a team member is simply out of their depth and cannot succeed at their role. Frustration abounds on all sides. 

And while you must know when to step back, you also must realize when enough is enough and step in. There are times when a team member is not the right fit for a role or the duties assigned, and you must make the tough call and take the appropriate action. This is not pleasant for anyone but letting a team member flounder again and again is not helping them, the rest of the team or the organization.

When stepping back and removing the safety net, there are a few things to be mindful of:

• Don’t let team members be paralyzed by failure after the first attempt. Coach them on recovery and teach them to scenario-plan. 
• Let them know that it is safe to fail and the parameters in which to do so.
• Help team members see the trajectory of their full careers—full of wins and losses—instead of focusing on the immediate success or failure.
• Celebrate and celebrate publicly when failure leads to innovation or discovery.

Finally, and most importantly, be willing to tell your own failure stories. You are leading by example--which is huge. We all have failures to share and we all have a lot to learn from them.